Esther Satterfield, “Look to the Children”

— from Once I Loved (1976)

(Thank you, K.G., for sending me the link and making my day.)

Steve McQueen kisses his daughter Terry good-night in 1963. (Photograph by John Dominis. Thank you, Time & Life Pictures/Getty Images.)

Steve McQueen kisses his daughter Terry good-night in 1963.

(Photograph by John Dominis. Thank you, Time & Life Pictures/Getty Images.)

Matthew Shepard and his dad, Dennis Shepard (Photo: Thank you, myspace.com.)

Matthew Shepard and his dad, Dennis Shepard

(Photo: Thank you, myspace.com.)

Kurt Cobain and daughter Frances Bean (Photo: Thank you, Gary Carlson and Flickr.)

Kurt Cobain and daughter Frances Bean

(Photo: Thank you, Gary Carlson and Flickr.)

Charles M. Schulz and daughter Jill, 1967 (Photograph by Bill Ray. Thank you, Time & Life Pictures/Getty Images.)

Charles M. Schulz and daughter Jill, 1967

(Photograph by Bill Ray. Thank you, Time & Life Pictures/Getty Images.)

Colum McCann with his father in Dublin in the mid-1970s (Photo and caption: Thank you, Mr. McCann and New York Times.) View high resolution

Colum McCann with his father in Dublin in the mid-1970s

(Photo and caption: Thank you, Mr. McCann and New York Times.)

Carl Sagan and son Nick (Photo: Thank you, Nick Sagan.)

Carl Sagan and son Nick

(Photo: Thank you, Nick Sagan.)

I will always look up to him

I read Patrimony in 1995. I was 32. I knew even then that this would be one of the finest father-and-son memoirs I would ever read. I’m much older now, less easily amazed, less stubbornly certain about many things, and still hopelessly bookish. Now I believe this is one of the best books I’ve ever read.

There are just some books that make you feel proud to have become this person who prefers reading to almost any other joy that life has to offer. There are books that make you feel, having “known” the people in them, you are now a better person—or books that make you want to be a better person.

Philip Roth, who turned 80 last March, is a god in American literature. But I will always look up to him for the man—and the son—he is in Patrimony.

Philip Roth Of all things, [my father] smiled, a wry half-smile really, that worldly-wise, heartbroken smile that says, But of course. He put his hand to the base of his skull [where the tumor is] and, feeling nothing unusual there, smiled again. “Well, everybody leaves this earth in a different way.” “And,” I replied, “everybody lives on it in a different way. Everybody’s battle is different and the battle never ends.  .  .  . ” — from Patrimony: A True Story  (Photograph by Sara Krulwich. Thank you, New York Times.) View high resolution

Philip Roth

Of all things, [my father] smiled, a wry half-smile really, that worldly-wise, heartbroken smile that says, But of course.

He put his hand to the base of his skull [where the tumor is] and, feeling nothing unusual there, smiled again. “Well, everybody leaves this earth in a different way.”

“And,” I replied, “everybody lives on it in a different way. Everybody’s battle is different and the battle never ends.  .  .  . ”

— from Patrimony: A True Story 

(Photograph by Sara Krulwich. Thank you, New York Times.)

“
But our father, being our father, couldn’t have been expected to understand that. He understood, like the rest of us, only what he understood, though that he understood fiercely.
Philip Roth, Patrimony